You can't make someone go to counselling...
Oh but sometimes I wish you could. Thankfully over the last few years I have come across people who have decided to seek help through counselling, for me I couldn’t be happier. Although I wished that many of those I have known were not in a state of distress or suffering from prolonged negative thoughts; I am pleased that they have had the courage to seek help.
Many people though still do not see the benefits, unfortunately counselling still carries stigma, many people feel that going to counselling means admitting that there is something wrong with them. Many simply cannot find the time or will not make the time for counselling and there are also some that have grown up in a generation where you do not talk about your problems but instead hold a stiff upper lip and simply get on with the cards you have been dealt.
Those that I have known who have undergone counselling, although sceptical at first have valued and appreciated the help they have received. More importantly they have found strength in themselves and in doing so their lives have changed. Counselling enables the client to build a greater sense of self worth, they begin to like and value themselves more and in turn they begin to find new respect for those around them and the world that they live in. However, this is not an easy journey - counselling can sometimes feel like it is making things worse before they get better. It can bring up painful memories and stir emotions that you didn’t know existed. It forces you to really look at who you are and who you want to be (if you let it) and great changes both internally and externally may begin to happen. In my opinion though, it is a journey worth taking in order to knock down that brick wall that is either obstructing your vision or stopping you from moving at all. But you can’t force someone to take the trip and no matter how encouraging you are about what can be achieved from it sometimes for some people it is simply not a plausible option.
So what can we do for those people, those who find the idea of talking to a counsellor terrifying, those who think they will be labelled “mad” or “crazy” or those who were brought up by being told not to air their dirty laundry. There are a few alternatives:
Talk to a friend, someone you feel you can trust, they won’t be a trained professional but they will hopefully listen and provide understanding and comfort without judgement. It’s great if you do have friends you can confide in and trust, someone that you would also listen to if they needed help. Just remember though that a friend may have a biased opinion based on their relationship with you.
Online forums/chats and information, there are many sites out there (like this one) that offer great support. There are websites offering discussion forums where you can talk to people going through similar problems. There are information resources on all sorts of mental health conditions and there is even online counselling if you feel that face to face is just too much.
There are also now a wealth of self help books that can help someone recognise what they may be going through emotionally and psychologically and then provide next steps to alleviating some of the symptoms. These books will not analyse you as an individual to discover why problems have arisen in the first place but they will provide coping strategies and advice on how to relieve stress and anxiety. They will also encourage you to look at yourself and your life and provide ways of pulling out the positive qualities and the possibilities for the future. Just remember that these books are more general than personal counselling but you will discover advice and guidance that rings true for you that you can build on.
So, even if I can’t force someone to go to counselling to discover what true potential they really have, I would at least like to encourage those who are struggling emotionally or psychologically to draw on the resources that work for them, those that make them feel comfortable and encourages them to continue to find the happiness they deserve.
Comments
Great blog post, Jenna.
I agree that professional counselling can be of huge benefit (for the right client, with the right therapist, at the right time), but that many people are put off or are fearful of it. I think that sometimes goes to awareness. The idea of going to talk to a professional can seem a bit clinical, daunting and scary - something that goes on behind closed doors and in secret, because that's often how it's regarded in society.
Discussions like this go a long way to combat that perception, so thank you for broaching the subject! :)
Sarah Myles
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