Helping those with depression

Small steps are so important

Currently as part of my training as a counsellor I am studying a mental health module with the open university and have just finished reading ‘Hilary’s story’ a woman’s account of her experience of depression. From the books I have read , the courses I have completed and from personal experience I always felt that I would like to work as a counsellor to help those suffering with depression; to attempt to lift someone out of the bottomless black hole that Hilary describes.

While reading her account I fully acknowledge how difficult this can be and thats for just the counsellor, I can only imagine the difficulty those that experience depression go through. Depression to me manifests itself into a vicious cycle – as Hilary describes there are things you want to do and feel you should do but you have no motivation or will power to do them and then when you don’t do them you feel (in her words) like a fraud which only ignites more negative thoughts about yourself, which in turn generates negative thoughts about your place in society, the world you live in and the life you lead, which results again in you not wanting to do anything.

I remember a counsellor saying that someone does not just snap out of depression and that you must take baby steps to recovery, one day at a time, one task at a time so that it all doesn’t seem so terrifying and hopeless. They once told a woman who was severely depressed after going through a divorce to tidy one drawer in her house. She had not had the motivation the clean her house, leave the house or do anything that she used to do everyday like clockwork. One drawer that is all she needed to tidy, one step at a time, to not think about doing anything else, to not worry about having not done anything else; just tidy one little drawer.

She did it and afterwards she called the counsellor back and said that she felt better, just that small task she had taken control of, and completed and it looked better, she felt better. She may have only felt better for the rest of that day, but she did it, and the sadness had lifted if only or a small amount of time; she felt useful, in control, functioning. And the counsellor was pleased, pleased for her and congratulated her.

So what I want to remember when I am treating someone suffering with depression is that it is the small steps that count, one thing at a time, working together at their pace, and rewarding all achievements no matter how small.