The myth of counselling

by Jenna Robinson

I recently heard someone say "I think I may go and see a counsellor, they will tell me what's wrong and what I should do."

This spurred me to write something in order to dispel this myth and inform people about counselling before they take that step. Counsellors will not be able to give you clear definite answers to those questions you are desperate to know the answer to and they will certainly never give advice.

I would like to point out though that psychologists and psychiatrists are trained to give a diagnosis of their patients and also can give advice on where certain conditions orginate and also which treatment is most appropriate. However counselling is slightly different and it is important to know this distinction...

When I began my training as a counsellor I knew this sticking point would be my biggest problem, I am a fixer and a symptom of being a fixer is that we love to give advice and help others in any way possible to get out of a predicament. Whilst training I had to learn that this is not the job of a counsellor, we are not the ones who know best, the client does. I work within a client-centred therapy and this means that the client is the one in control; they are the ones who drive the conversation, who discover reasons as to why they may be feeling a certain way and how they wish to change. Don't get me wrong, a counsellor does not just provide a sounding board for the client (if this were true, then the training would be a lot shorter :-) ) The counsellor provides a listening ear, asks reflective and open questions and gives you the space to explore your deepest thoughts and emotions without fear of judgement. 

Now, I am happy to not give advice; because one thing that I think can be incredibly powerful is when a client reaches a moment of understanding, closure, connection with whatever is or has been going on in their life and they get to that place themselves, instead of being told how to feel or what to do. They can then move forward to instigate change and make those small steps to feeling better about themselves and the life that they wish to lead. 

Committing to counselling is a huge step for anyone, and I congratulate anyone who is brave enough to take that step, it is not easy but it can be hugely beneficial. Take your time with it, be patient and remember you are the one in control (this is always useful to remember as sometimes when we are struggling we yearn for that sense of control). You will find the answers you need but just remember the counsellor won't be the one to give them to you. 

 

Comments

i have used counselling many times in the last 25 years, it was usually for a limited period to deal with a crisis but i was able to take the work i had already done previoulsy and build on it. to me having an independent person who is only interested in my perception and beliefs has helped me face many issues and stresses with having a complete breakdown. also i have found that i use it when in crisis to deal with the most pressing issue, yet when i am practising what i have learnt after the sessions end will only get me so far in coping with my issues. i have been suffering from depression and anxity problems since my late teens and have found that the help required to help me has been sketchy and hard to find, especially in the last few years. the fact that it takes so long to get the help you need, may put alot of people off from asking,. as most people will ask when under extreme pressure yet when the pressure lessens so does the need to sort out the problem and the opportunity to work on the issues passes.
How many counsellors does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change! Great blog, thank you Jenna

Brilliant blog thank you Jenna, I will tweet it and post it on FB - well done :)

First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that I'd like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Appreciate it! Here is my web-site; gamefly
What i don't realize is in fact how you are no longer actually much more neatly-preferred than you might be now. You are very intelligent. You recognize therefore considerably on the subject of this subject, made me for my part believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women aren't fascinated except it is one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. Always take care of it up! My site - g
Great blog, thanks for making some really great points
Your blog post is so completely true. I write for londoncounsellingdirectory.com which is much more than a directory and many of my varied posts about therapy and counselling always reminds people that the client is the one who is in control. It is important to remind people that counsellors, psychologists and therapists offer people a safe space where they can feel free to explore their inner most feelings.
First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that I'd like to ask if you do not mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I have had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints? Appreciate it! Here is my web page ... gamefly
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me. Look at my blog; plenty of fish dating site
What i don't realize is in fact how you are no longer actually much more neatly-preferred than you might be now. You are very intelligent. You recognize therefore considerably on the subject of this subject, made me for my part believe it from numerous numerous angles. Its like men and women aren't fascinated except it is one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. Always take care of it up! my web site :: g
Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me. Also visit my homepage - plenty of fish dating site
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian medications by mail drugs for sale http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian cialis http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian medications by mail drugs for sale http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian cialis http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian rx world pharmacy canadian pharmacies that ship to us http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian pharmacies that are legit http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
Hurrah, that's what I was searching for, what a information! existing here at this website, thanks admin of this web page. Here is my web-site: cheap flights
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian rx world pharmacy canadian pharmacies that ship to us http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian pharmacies that are legit http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone! Feel free to visit my web blog: cheap flights
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone! my website; cheap flights
Hurrah, that's what I was searching for, what a information! existing here at this website, thanks admin of this web page. Review my webpage :: cheap flights

Post new comment