Motivation

Paul Holmes

Hi and many thanks for stopping by. I am 43 from London, married and work part time as a writer and part time as anything else that comes along. I was a train driver until 2003, but was injured during an incident. As a result the next 6 years were a constant struggle fighting depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD and anger management issues. I took up writing, via blog form in the 2005, I did this to try to make sense of everything that was going on around me. From these writings came my first book A Man Derailed, which tells the story of the crash and the aftermarth that followed.

The most important thing for me now is that I can write about all the troubles in past tense. I never dreamt that I would ever get to this point in my life, I do feel lucky, but it was a lot of hard work. I want to share those huge life changing moments that changed me, I want to show that there are things we can do to make our lives better. The importance of diet and exercise, getting back that quality of life we all deserve.

I still have my moments, that black cloud still lurks around the corner now and then. I still dream of a full nights sleep and find motivating myself impossible sometimes. However, I seem to have found some sort of strength to deal with this, so thankfully these bouts of depression do not seem to last as long as they used to.

I very much look forward to sharing this with you, and I hope you will share your thoughts with me as well.

How to Get rid of depression.

Step 2. Eat a good healthy diet, consisting of fruit, veg, proteins & carbs

Step 3. Drink water, keep hydrated. Lay off the coffee, tea & booze.

Step 4. Take care of yourself, shower yourself, take pride in how you look.

Step 5. Socialise. Yes leave the house and build up the confidence to interact.

Step 6. Be open with your family and friends, they may surprise you.

Step 7. Keep a journal so you can see how you react to the bumps in the road.

Step 8. Exercise, walking, gym, cycling... anything you are happy to do, just do it.

Step 9. Take time out to do pleasurable things.

Step 10. Repeat the above every day.

So there you have it, sorry? What was that? I have missed out what? Oh Step 1. Erm yeah, well that’s get motivated. I am afraid you are on your own there. How do you get motivated when depressed? When every fibre of your body is telling you that nothing is good, everyone is bad, no one cares etc etc?

It’s a tough one. What is motivation?

noun

the act or an instance of motivating, or providing with a reason to act in a certain way: I don't understand what her motivation was for quitting her job. Synonyms: motive, inspiration, inducement, cause, impetus.

the state or condition of being motivated: We know that these students have strong motivation to learn.

something that motivates; inducement; incentive: Clearly, the company's long-term motivation is profit.

Why is it then when we know if we do all the above things, they will have a positive impact on our lives. Of course it will not cure depression but it gives us more good days than bad. I imagine my life to be a 100 page book. Pages 35 to 42 were pretty shit. I am buggered if I am going to have any more ruined pages in my life book. I may have bad days, they are days where I fight but loose. However the next day I start all over again. The days I fail are the days I lose motivation. Not the will to live or exist, but a complete lack of willingness to do anything. My mind shuts down and my body refuses to function. My limbs feel like lead and all I can do is sit, eat crap and look forward to bed time. The next is filled with guilt as I wasted another day, but I try again and again. So why is it the motivation is there one day and not the next? I really do not know, I wish I did.

We have a great incentive to be motivated don’t we? To gain a better quality of life, to be healthy and happy and interact, make bonds with others. If we do all those things on the list we could have a decent existence. So why do we not do it? If anyone reads this, and can fill in Step 1. Then please do. Maybe we need a motivation tablet, something to kick us up the ass, anything.

If you have the answer then I am all ears and eyes.

Comments

Submitted by Sarah Myles on Sat, 14/07/2012 - 12:11.

Great post, Paul! Motivation is key in every mental illness - we don't get anywhere without it. I guess eveyone finds their motivation in different places, and even then, some days, it's just not happening!

When I have motivation, it comes from 2 places: Firstly, other people - especially my kids - who need me to do it. Secondly, from fear - fear of slipping back into the dark place having made some progress, fear of passing on learned behaviours to my kids, fear of letting people down.

The most difficult bit, as you say, is finding it for the first time when you don't know where - or how - to look. A tiny bit of hope goes a long way :)

Sarah Myles

Submitted by Charlotte Fantelli on Wed, 18/07/2012 - 13:55.

Brilliant Blog Paul!

Sometimes I can be motivated by the smallest things, the sunshine, flowers, a song. Then other times it feels like a massive weight inside and then I cling on to the motivation that keeps me one step back from that edge - my family x