Why Honest Friendships Are Vital in BPD

by Sarah Myles

I was with a very close friend, and we had been chatting away happily for a couple of hours. I just finished sharing an anecdote about binging on a bucket of chocolate cake and custard when my friend looked me in the eye and stated “I always worry about you when you comfort eat, because it usually means you’re getting manic.”

I stopped in my tracks and thought for a moment. “Yes, you’re right. It does…”

She then listed specific clues she had picked up during our conversations that evening. “Not sleeping, comfort eating, snapping at people, not being able to concentrate…they’re some of your warning signs.”

I was quite taken aback. First of all, how amazing to have a friend like that! Not only had she actually been listening carefully to me that evening, but she had listened over the years and become familiar with my disorder and how it affects me, specifically. Secondly, she didn’t hesitate to point out to me that she could see a crisis looming on the horizon, without judging me in any way.

My emotional response was mixed. On the one hand, I was disappointed in myself not to have owned the fact that I was becoming manic. I had to admit to myself that I had actually noted the warning signs building over the previous few days, but had wilfully turned a blind eye. In admitting that, I also had to admit that I couldn’t explain why, which amounts to a loss of control on my part. Loss of control comes with the mania, but it is the thing which makes me most uncomfortable with myself and therefore, I don’t want to deal with it. But, what’s strange is that, though I loathe losing control, purposefully avoiding taking action to prevent a manic spiral is like purposefully giving up control. In my current disordered, dysregulated state, I cannot make sense of that.

On the other hand, I was reassured. I found comfort in the fact that, even when I purposefully refuse to look at my symptoms, the people close to me will not let me get away with it. This is precisely the kind of friendship that is vital for someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. People that will point out, without judgement, that I am ignoring clear warning signs, and that that is not acceptable. People that expect me to take responsibility for my disorder and recovery.“You know you’re becoming manic, don’t you? What are you going to do about it?” The beauty of that is, it forces me to get back in the driver’s seat, with support.

I may sometimes come off the tight rope into either low mood or mania, and that’s to be expected. But my loved ones will make me get back on it, whether I like it or not, and that’s something to be incredibly grateful for.

Comments

I've tried this. And admittedly, it does work when the Non gently expresses genuine concern and worry for an up-and-coming turn for the worse. What increased conflict in my relationship was when I (the Non) had seen the warning signs, but tried to tap into the friend's happier side in an attempt to pull her out of it. Not a sympathetic move, I confess. However, I grew wary of telling her how she felt, or, in place of telling, asking how she felt. Because often, she'd bottle it all up and not let it out. I found a few successes in noticing her unresponsiveness, telling her that I felt something was wrong, and that I understood her need under these circumstances to occasionally ignore me. This, of course, was my eventual undoing; my dignity cannot tolerate being ignored by someone I love . . . if they seem to be specifically ignoring -me- whilst having fun with strangers.
I have to tread on carefully here. If I dare tell my BPD friend I'm noticing mania creeping in, even in the kindest way, they always react in a hostile way. There is almost an enjoyment of the mania (which worsens).
 *******Contact us Securely : keystonemeds {AT} protonmail(.)com | Wickr us at : ( intermeds247 ) ******** Adderall is a preparation of a mixture containing a mixture of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. These chemicals act amphetamine class (aka psychostimulants) as stimulants of the central nervous system. These chemicals affect the brain in order to give greater control and impulse behavior. Adderall is the most effective drug to treat attention deficit disorder hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and a sleep disorder called narcolepsy. Adderall has the following advantages: improve concentration. ADDERALL concentration, drugs increases, the attention span of a person. Adderall can help you focus and stay awake. More mental clarity. Often people with ADHD combined in seemingly normal daily activities. This leads to nervousness and anxiety. Under Adderall can be clearer head. 
 Our Services: - Finest and fast services to all our clients, and we make sure they are treated like family. - We offer a Full Refunds on any Package that does not make it to its destination. - We are reliable for a longterm, communications & transactions are secured . - Offer safe and discreet overnight shipping (24/H) to clients depending on location. Bitcoins Payments Now Acceptable. Pay for your medications Securely 
 *******Contact us Securely : keystonemeds {AT} protonmail(.)com | Wickr us at : ( intermeds247 ) ********
Thanks for a marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you're a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great job, have a nice morning! Also visit my web page; gamefly
Whats up are using Wordpress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated! My web blog ... gamefly free trial
Hi it's me, I am also visiting this site daily, this web page is truly nice and the visitors are really sharing pleasant thoughts. Also visit my weblog :: https://is.gd/hh88alsp
Thanks for a marvelous posting! I quite enjoyed reading it, you're a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog and will come back sometime soon. I want to encourage yourself to continue your great job, have a nice morning! My weblog :: gamefly
Good info. Lucky me I recently found your site by accident (stumbleupon). I've bookmarked it for later! Feel free to surf to my web-site how to download minecraft
Hello there! Quick question that's entirely off topic. Do you know how to download minecraft free to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I'm trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Cheers!
Whats up are using Wordpress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated! my web-site :: gamefly free trial
Good info. Lucky me I recently found your site by accident (stumbleupon). I've bookmarked it for later! Feel free to visit my homepage; how to download minecraft
Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to exchange methods with other folks, why not shoot me an email if interested. Feel free to surf to my web page: Penni
Hello there! Quick question that's entirely off topic. Do you know how to download minecraft free to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when viewing from my iphone4. I'm trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Cheers!
Inspiring story there. What happened after? Take care! Also visit my site: download minecraft free
I was extremely pleased to discover this page. I need to to thank you for your time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every bit plenty of fish dating site it and i also have you saved to fav to see new stuff in your web site.
Inspiring story there. What happened after? Take care! my web site; download minecraft free
Simply want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your post is just nice and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work. Feel free to surf to my web page - mojang minecraft download
Simply want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your post is just nice and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work. Here is my web site :: mojang minecraft download
Hi it's me, I am also visiting this site daily, this web page is truly nice and the visitors are really sharing pleasant thoughts. Visit my site :: https://is.gd/hh88alsp
Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to exchange methods with other folks, why not shoot me an email if interested. Feel free to visit my weblog Penni
Express delivery Worldwide with logistics couriers, UPS, FedEX, EMS Bitcoins Payments Now Acceptable. Pay for your medications with any cryptocurrenciesorders shall be fulfilled.We do supply highest quality Pain Anxeity and and Pain Relief products at all quantities and our products are affordable and very competitive in the market today Website;(http://amazingphamaceuticals.com/ ) No prescription needed. Phone Number..........+1 512-596-183
#http://amazingphamaceuticals.com/product/buy-adderall-xr-30mg-capsule-adderall-xr-30mg-capsule/ Express delivery Worldwide with logistics couriers, UPS, FedEX, EMS Bitcoins Payments Now Acceptable. Pay for your medications with any cryptocurrenciesorders shall be fulfilled.We do supply highest quality Pain Anxeity and and Pain Relief products at all quantities and our products are affordable and very competitive in the market today Website;(http://amazingphamaceuticals.com/ ) No prescription needed. Phone Number..........+1 512-596-183
I was extremely pleased to discover this page. I need to to thank you for your time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every bit plenty of fish dating site it and i also have you saved to fav to see new stuff in your web site.
En Ucuz Kitap Al En Çok Beğenilen Kitaplar Listesi My page; Iddaa programı iddaa
En Ucuz Kitap Al En Çok Beğenilen Kitaplar Listesi My website: Iddaa programı iddaa
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canada online pharmacies online pharmacies tech school http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ pharmacy canada plus http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canada online pharmacies online pharmacies tech school http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ pharmacy canada plus http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ reputable canadian prescriptions online canadian pharmacycanadian pharmacy http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ drugstore online http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ reputable canadian prescriptions online canadian pharmacycanadian pharmacy http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ drugstore online http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
I enjoy you because of your own work on this website. My daughter take interest in conducting investigation and it's really obvious why. Most of us know all concerning the compelling medium you present precious steps via this website and as well inspire contribution from other individuals on this article so my child is becoming educated a great deal. Take pleasure in the rest of the new year. You have been carrying out a brilliant job. blog I always use url shortener It is very helpful.
I enjoy you because of your own work on this website. My daughter take interest in conducting investigation and it's really obvious why. Most of us know all concerning the compelling medium you present precious steps via this website and as well inspire contribution from other individuals on this article so my child is becoming educated a great deal. Take pleasure in the rest of the new year. You have been carrying out a brilliant job. blog I always use url shortener It is very helpful.
Dear mentalhealthy.co.uk administrator, You always provide great examples and real-world applications, thank you for your valuable contributions.

Post new comment