Taking new partners to meet the children should NOT be undervalued
By Liz Lockhart
On the face of it, the news that has spewed from the Katie Price and Kerry Katona publicity machines in the past week or so, looks trivial and unsurprisingly puerile. Look deeper and the implications of the actions of these two mothers are worrying, and unfortunately the actions of these high-profile women simply mirror what is now seen as perfectly normal in todays society.
Many of us watched while Katie Price sat on the sofa the other morning chatting to Adrian Chiles and Kate Garraway on Daybreak. She talked about being misquoted in saying that her latest boyfriend, Leandro Penna, was a better dad than Peter Andre. She explained "I never said that he was a better dad at all. Pete is a good dad, I just said he [Leandro] does more things with Harvey. Like when we were on holiday he taught Harvey to snorkel," she explained. "And to teach your child with special needs to understand that when you're underwater to snorkel, you know, he pushes the limits with him. I didn't say he was a better dad, I think people have misquoted that. Pete is a fantastic dad to all of them."
That all sounds very noble of Katie but what bothers me is the fact that her child, or children, are being exposed to one relationship after another, after all wasn't Alex Reid such a 'wonderful father figure' to these same children?
With children of divorced parents/broken homes over 2.5x more likely to suffer psychological problems surely we must look at what societies moral decline is doing to the youth of today and tomorrow and not merely slapping the faces of people making a mess of it all over the tabloids?
Meanwhile, Kerry Katona graced the cover of OK magazine this week with her latest beau, Lucien Laviscount who she is apparently about to introduce to the children! I found the whole interview, which covered five pages, to be contrived and implausible. Can we believe what was printed? Kerry, 31, draped herself all over Lucien, 19 for the purpose of this spread. She is quoted as saying ‘I’d definitely marry Lucien, he has it all,’ and Lucien says that ‘We hope we’ll be together forever.’
How long have you known each other? Lucien says that he can’t wait to meet Kerry's children and he's apparently been invited to a party where he can do just that. Not only is there a smaller age gap between Kerry's oldest child and Lucien than there is between the couple, my heart sinks to think that yet another relationship will be introduced into their lives so very soon.
What is it with celebrities, and other mere mortals, that they feel incomplete if they are not in a relationship? Whilst being in a good, stable and loving relationship and finding a ‘happy ever after’ scenario is the aim of many it is not everything. Only when we have had a lengthy period of time in a relationship can we feel confidence that it will survive and thrive. It is at this point that children should gradually be introduced to new partners and not before.
It is so vital for children to have stability in their lives and a constant stream of different potential suitors playing such a strong role in their lives can do nothing but harm. What are they learning about relationships? That they are disposable and fleeting? How can the children feel secure as these men are brought in and out of their mother’s life?
Both Katie and Kerry could learn a great deal about themselves by spending some time out of a relationship whilst learning to be strong and independent. Single parents can provide a stable home life for their children whilst having a healthy social life which can be conducted separately from the responsibility of motherhood.
It is so important that children from separated homes feel loved, supported and secure, without this, incidence of depression, anxiety, social and behavioural issues and even sexual dysfunction are far higher - please ladies consider this next time a young man with a tan gives you a sideways smile!
