Mental health toll for ‘intensive’ mums
By Margaret Rogers
Being a parent has to be one of the most challenging prospects in life. Babies arrive without a hand-book or instruction leaflet and 
many parents have unrealistic expectations of themselves and their children.
Intensive parenting would seem to have become very common with parents monitoring their child’s every move. Many mothers believe that they are the essential parent and their constant monitoring of every aspect of their child’s life often continues right through their child’s college years. Recent research has found that ‘intensive parenting’ styles may cause damage to a mother’s mental health. This type of parenting can lead to elevated levels of stress and even depression.
Parenting is always a huge task and many women have unrealistic ideals about parenthood. Some mothers find parenting to be the most fulfilling experiences of their life whilst others feel that attending to their children is even more demanding that being at work.
Research conducted by Katherine Rizzo, Ph.D., and researchers from the University of Mary Washington was aimed at exploring these variations in the expectations of motherhood. Rizzo suggests that even though people often report that they want to have children in the belief that it will make them happier, this is often not the case with parenthood being associated with decreased wellbeing.
Rizzo and her colleagues examined whether intensive parenting rather than just being a parent is linked to increased stress levels, depression and even lower life satisfaction. To do this they studied 181 mothers with children under the age of 5.
The research team used an online questionnaire to measure the extent to which mothers approved of intensive parenting. The participants were also questioned about their beliefs that mothers are the most necessary and capable parent, their feelings about a parent’s happiness being primarily achieved through their children, whether parents should always provide stimulating activities to aid their child’s development, whether they believed that parenting is more difficult than working, and whether a parent should put the child’s needs above their own.
The researchers found that while women were satisfied with their lives overall, they demonstrated moderate levels of stress and depression. 23% of the participants had symptoms of depression. It was a woman’s endorsement of intensive parenting attitudes that accounted for this. Women who believed that parenting is challenging were more stressed and depressed. Women who believe that they are the most essential parent were less satisfied with their own lives.
The study authors suggest that mothers may think that an aggressive and domineering style makes them better mothers. They are willing to sacrifice their own mental health to improve their child’s educational, social and emotional outcomes.
The authors write ‘In reality, intensive parenting may have the opposite effect on children from what parents intend.’
