A Poem.

by Paul Holmes

I love writing poetry. It helps me get rid of the crap that goes round and round in my brain that sometimes prevents my creativity. This is a bit of self indulgence, so I appreciate that this may not be the sort of thing you would want to read on a site such as this. However, I feel that this sort of writing is a big help. Try it. You can keep them to yourself or put them out there, its a great feeling when someone says they have read it and they relate to it.

Seconds to go..

I am 15023750400 seconds old.

with only 11352960000 seconds to go.

what have I done?

what have i achieved?

where has the time gone?

wasted in black moods

wasted seconds on feeling sorry for myself.

the seconds tick

i can feel each and everyone of them

hurtling to my fate

like a lemming on prozac

fuck!

another 68 seconds gone

thats over a minute

what have I done?

 

Only11352959910 seconds to go

why didnt i loose weight

maybe add a few seconds more

even hours, dare i say it?

another 30 seconds

i need to write this faster

if i dont

i will be wasting precious seconds

time i could be doing something else

But what?

 

Only 11352959838 seconds to go

its really getting me down

each second passes in a very slow blink of an eye

stop blinking, thats it.

If I keep my eyes open

time will stand still

i wont get older

no more grey hairs and love handles.

 

Only 11352959763 seconds to go

my eye trick didnt work

damn

damn you time.

I need more of you.

Just give me back the years wasted in doom and gloom

i want the time back the black dog stole

the time i never smiled

give it back.

 

Only 11352959700 seconds to go

i never got those seconds back.

300 seconds since i started this

what else should I have done?

why am I wasting my seconds

Shit

Life is so short.

Only 11352959615 seconds to go.......

 

 

 

Comments

Ah, the number of panic attacks I've had due to these exact same thoughts! Very familiar to me. The thought that every second gone is just gone - never to be had again.

This poem is a perfect depiction of a negative thought spiral. Seeing it on a page, outside of the thought process, is very helpful for finding perspective and balance. Thanks for sharing it!

Sarah Myles

Wow this is anxiety in words, amazing. I almost had pulpatations just reading it. Brilliant work, are going to share more poems? i do hope so.
Thanks Paul, "..the black dog stole..." nice share.
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