Once Upon A Time There Was A Sheep - The Impact of Trying to Conform

Today I'm going to tell you a story! It's a bit of an experiment for me. I don't usually write like this - so I hope it's okay!!

Once upon a time there was this sheep. Let's call her .... errm... Tanya.  Tanya thought she was a sheep. There she was in a field, with hundreds of other sheep, trying to go about what was expected in a "normal" way.  But it didn't feel quite right. She didn't quite baaaa in the same way as other sheep and all the other sheep looked at her strangely when she tried to used her own voice. She didn't seem to walk in the same way as the other sheep and really struggled to follow the flock and go in the right direction all of the time.  She thought there was something seriously really wrong with her. Why wasn't she like all the other sheep?

Then one day, she got lost from the flock...  she found herself in a field with no other sheep at all...

For days, she roamed and roamed the woodlands, looking for other sheep. She felt alone. 

She came across some rabbits, they were fun, and welcomed her with open arms. But she couldn't quite bounce in the same way.  Then one day, when trying to hop and match the rabbits, so that she could fit in... she suddenly discovered she had these strange things on her side. They extended outward and starting swooping really gracefully, until before she knew it she was in the sky.  She was flying!!!  

Loads of birds gathered around her and started chattering in a sing songy way. To her amazement she chatted back in exactly the same way.  She suddenly realised, she wasn't a sheep at all... She was a bird!!!

The realisation came somewhat as a shock to her system and she forgot to flap her new found wings. She started tumbling downwards crashing towards the ground. A tree caught her and she lay there for a while recovering.

While she lay there, she reflected back over her life. All of that time she was with the sheep and didn't even realise she had wings! She'd thought there was something wrong with her. She'd felt depressed and isolated. She'd seen birds in the sky, but had never actually spoken to one before.  She'd always thought they looked at her in a friendly, knowing manner.  How surreal that she should turn out to actually be a bird!! There wasn't anything wrong with her at all - she'd just been trying to be something she wasn't.

Excited by the realisation, she flapped her wings and flew high in the sky.  Her new found bird friends joined her and they flew high over the fields and trees, until they came upon a field of a sheep.  They gracefully landed on the back of individual sheep, ready to nibble on any annoying ticks or insects that were bugging the sheep.

"Oh, you're back then!" said the sheep she landed on. "It's about time that you figured out what you really are!".

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There are many things that contributed to my poor mental health over the years. One of them was trying to conform to a life that really wasn't right for me. I spent a long time trying to carve myself to fit into a round hole. The carving hurt.  

Eventually, over time, I learned how to dig a hole that fitted my shape.  I figured out that I wasn't a sheep I was a bird. And I realised that there wasn't actually anything wrong with me. Birds flock and fly in unison too - just in a different way. Over the years I've found some lovely birds who fly my path and sing my song.  I hope you find yours too!