Mixed Feelings

by Jade S

First of all, let me just say that I LOVE borderline people.  I know people don't like to be labeled, and that is not my intent.  I do want to point out that people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder have a treasure trove of gifts and beauty that they often will hide away from people.  We must encourage each other to share our gifts, our incredible ability to comfort others, and our empathy, for example. 

Yesterday I met with my group that participate in therapy with me.  We discussed in particular the difficulties of having a borderline parent.  I believe, from my interaction with BPD, that it has both a genetic and environmental component, and so I believe the odds are probably a bit higher that many of us also have a parent who suffers from this illness.  I must say, it felt good to know I wasn't the only one who harbored such feelings towards a parent: a confusing mix of overwhelming love and a sense of protection accompanied with an anger that I had missed my childhood.  Can anyone relate?

Mixed feelings like this can be terribly uncomfortable.  Remember, however, that this presents an opportunity for us to practice what skills we have in countering borderline symptoms.  Remember that it is OKAY to have mixed feelings towards a parent.  Also remember that forgiveness will benefit you tremendously.  Sometimes communication with a parent can be difficult and we are often not prepared to approach a subject outside the context of therapy, so find a good therapist and learn how to communicate!  Sometimes it is better not to communicate at all with a parent if said parent has been abusive.  Sometimes it is simply not possible to  communicate.  Striving for forgiveness is the key to overcoming these obstacles in communication.  We must forgive those people we believe have harmed us, for the benefit of our own soul.  We are, after all, pursuing health!!! A healthy soul can contribute to a healthy body.

Feedback from you, Reader, is greatly appreciated.  Let's join together in support for each other, fighting Borderline Personality Disorder and the terrible things it has done to us in our lives!!  No one has to fight alone.

 

Comments

If one suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and also has a parent who has exhibited and/or continues to exhibit behaviors associated with BPD, keep in mind the parent and their own personal struggle. An individual with BPD, like no other, has the ability to understand another individual with BPD. The parent/adult-child relationship should be enhanced because of the disorder especially when sexual or abuse of any kind has not been the cause of the disorder. Forgiveness is the key to many a soul-sickness. Forgiveness with this special kind of understanding, mixed with empathy, is the surpreme relationship and uniquely rich beyond all others.

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