Bridal bliss?

Don’t get me wrong, I was absolutely ecstatic to be engaged to the man I love and planning the happiest day of our lives.

But, boy, was it hard work!?!

Juggling wedding plans with work commitments, family and a social life was a full-time vocation; if I wasn’t arranging something for the big day then I was scurrying around applying emotional plasters to the people who I love and who were, unfortunately, going through the most difficult of times simultaneous to what ‘should’ have been our happiest of times. 'Should' is a such a dangerous word by the way.

Anyway, the strange situation left me neither particularly happy or sad; just numb.

The stresses and strains of trying to help those in need of my love, having to anaylse why some so-called 'friends and family' couldn't be happy for me, let alone there for me, alongside attending to the continuous wedmin, meant that I was simply unable to devote any time to showing some love to myself; and I almost burnt-out.       

It got to the point where I had to take responsibility for myself and my feelings, and I refused to run myself in to the ground (I was pretty close) by wastefully investing in everyone and everything.

Triggered by the loss of my iphone, and after the initial panic and overwhelming anxiety, I indulged in my excuse to cut the world out for three days (meaning no researching, emailing, calling, texting or analysing) and it was amazing: cue reflection.

I soon realised that due to the fact I had arranged most of the important things (thanks to our wonderful parents and grand-parents) in so much as we had a venue, a dress, a cake and a registrar, it meant that we would get married, eat and have a dance with our nearest and dearest.

This made me realise that every teeny, weeny, tiny detail, though important to us, did not have to dictate every waking (and sleeping) moment.

Looking back, I see the wedding plans served as a kind of distraction from the sadder aspects in my life, and it gave me a reason to keep charging ahead to the finish-line, without processing my emotions. 

Thankfully, I had understanding from my close inner-circle, and because I had given so much support to them, they embraced the opportunity to love me back.

From then on I focused only on these people - those that truly have my back - rather than be upset and concerned about those that don't.

My fiancé, ever the most remarkable human-being, had witnessed first-hand just how negatively all the stress was impacting on me, and he was my ultimate safety net.

After my moment of serenity, I realised that I owed it to him to cut the excess negativity out of my life.

Needless to say, there were ups and downs right up until the point that we said ‘I do’, but we had a truly beautiful day, surrounded by our closest friends and family, and we made some precious memories.

Thankfully the post-wedding blues haven’t been too harsh. Sure, we both felt a little flat that the wedding was over, but at risk of sounding cheesy, we are just happy to be married (with no more plans) and we both feel it’s only the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in our lives.