Self-forgiveness
Suffering from poor mental health can bring with it strong feelings of guilt. This can be as a result of several different things, however, we have little choice in being unwell anymore than if we had been diagnosed with a physical disease. Physical illness tends to bring sympathy and help whereas mental ill 
health tends to bring the ‘pull yourself together’ brigade out in force. Maybe we would have been one in that brigade before we suffered ourselves and so we emotionally beat ourselves up because of what we feel.
Repercussions of loved ones
We tend to worry about the repercussions of what we are going through on others . If we are feeling particularly stressed, anxious or depressed it becomes seemingly impossible to carry on with our lives as it once was. Phobias stop us from leading otherwise ‘normal’ lives and this may impact on our loved ones. We feel full of guilt if we cannot face going out of the home which means that our children cannot go out without us. We don’t want out fears to rub off on our children nor do we want our unhappiness to bring unhappiness to other family members. So we feel full of remorse, self loathing and inevitable guilt.
Circle of destruction
These feelings are so counterproductive. They form part of a circle of destruction which we must learn to break. If we were told that we had diabetes for example we wouldn’t feel guilty so why should we feel so ashamed if we have poor mental health? Whatever disease we may have requires some forms of self-help but with mental disease it feels like a mine field and we don’t know which way to turn to find a route to recovery. I suggest that one of your first steps on this road is to forgive yourself for your condition whatever it may be. You certainly did not go out of your way to suffer in the way you are and you would give anything for it to go away. There is no quick fix or surgical operation to take it away so be kind to yourself and accept it as you would having the flu.
Roads to recovery
There are many roads to recovery and only you can know which one is right for you. Sometimes you have to walk a little way down many different roads until you find your path. Some good stating places are mentioned at the end of this feature, try some of them and see what you think. Take some control back – it is overwhelming when your mental health takes a nose dive but when you take the reins again you become empowered.
Someone once said that there is only one thing to fear and that’s fear itself. If you think about it that is so true. Try to say to those scary demons ‘come on you horrible feelings – you don’t scare me and I won’t let you get the better of me’.
Useful contacts
If you have not yet sought help then your GP is generally your first port of call. You may then be referred to counselling or therapy. Here are some additional places where you can educate yourself on your condition and find extra resources for recovery.
