Finding Authentic Happiness

Finding Authentic Happiness

By Nick Bolton

What does it take to be authentically happy?  To be happy about who you are, not what you have.

That was the question posed at the Smart School of Coaching’s first Authentic Happiness Summit 2011.

Authentic happiness is about being authentic, so you no longer need to wear the defences that hide yourself away from others.

Here is a selection of tips and advice from our Authentic Happiness experts …

1) Happiness is a choice. Claire Beegan says we can choose how we show up in the world.  We can either struggle against life, complaining and telling stories of woe, or we can choose to think about our situation differently. By doing this we’ll start to create a happier life. 

2) Who am I? Holly Worton believes that happiness boils down to understanding “Who am I? Where am I? And where am I going?” Once you answer these questions, life will make more sense and have a deeper meaning. Ask yourself these questions then identify simple steps that will begin to address where you are unhappy in life. 

3) Negativity comes from within, not without. According to Michael Pagnotta many people allow negative news to affect their emotions and behaviour.  But this isn’t the media’s fault. It’s the responsibility of the person to learn to control how they respond to negativity.  Begin by accepting these feelings as your own and stop blaming the news or other people. Remember you can change the way you feel.

4) Overcome your fears.  Paul Kensett believes fear gets trapped in the body and looks for an outlet.  To overcome fear we have to sense where we’re storing it and how, and then allow ourselves to let it go.  “It’s old news that wants to be heard again.  But old news is just that, old, and it needs to be let go.” says Paul.

5) Letting go of Loss. Rachel Smith was widowed 10 years ago and had a long and difficult journey back to happiness.  Rachel’s advice is to first recognise what the loss actually is.  When we lose something and grieve for it, it’s not just the loss of the person, or job, or house, but everything that went with it.  Secondly acknowledge what you feel guilty about and what you blame other people for - be that for dying, sacking you and so on.  And finally forgive yourself and forgive other people. 

6) Remember being a child.  Mary White suggests we remember being a child and the joy of playing.  Happiness is about enjoying the moment and not spending our lives planning ahead and losing the ‘here and now’ experience.  It’s also about silencing the voice that tells you to grow up, to act your age and to stop having fun. 

In conclusion, you can’t “learn” happiness but you can take a step away from the negative story and make a decision to change using some of the tips above. I truly believe that the beginning of happiness is taking action – action to be who you want to be.

For more information and to contact any of the experts above visit

About Nick Bolton

As founder of the Smart School of Coaching, Nick Bolton is passionate about training and supporting individuals to become professional coaches and build a sustainable business.   

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