Flexible parenting reduces depression and anxiety in children

Flexible parenting reduces depression and anxiety in children

By Liz Lockhart

Being a good parent can be a minefield but the theory that ‘it worked for my first child so it will work for the second’ seems to be blown out of the water according to new findings from a three year study.  The study also shows that finding the right parenting style can reduce your child’s risk of depression and anxiety.

Most parents realise that each one of their children is quite different and that what works or one does not necessarily work for another.  Whilst encouraging our children towards independence and well-roundness we adopt different strategies to keep them from being grumpy, bored and fearful.

A study by University of Washington psychologists gives advice on how to tailor parenting to meet a child’s individual personality.  This involves matching parenting style to the child’s needs.  If that sounds like ‘easier said than done’ then read on.

The symptoms of depression and anxiety can be halved in school-aged children with the correct matching of parenting style to a child’s personality – the study found.  Whereas, this can be doubled where there is a mismatch. The study is printed on line in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology.

The lead author, Cara Kiff, said ‘This study moves away from the one-size fits-all approach to parenting and gives specific advice to parents on ho to mitigate their child’s anxiety and depression.’

‘We’re considering characteristics that make children vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and factoring in how that shapes how kids react to different parenting approaches.’

Dr. Liliana Lengua, co-author added ‘We hear a lot about over-involved parents, like ‘tiger moms’ and ‘helicopter parents’.  (I am not sure what these mothers would equate to in the United Kingdom!)

 ‘It is parents’ instinct to help and support their children in some way, but it’s not always clear how to intervene in the best way. This research shows that parenting is a balance between stepping in and stepping out with guidance, support and structure based on cues from kids.’ Lengua said.

The study researchers interacted with 214 children and their mothers in interviews that were conducted in their homes.  The children were, on average, 9 years old at the start of the study with an almost even mix of boys and girls.

The researchers observed the children and their mothers once a year for three years.  The pairs were observed discussing neutral subjects such as the day’s events and common problems such as homework and chores.

The researchers noted parenting styles during these conversations.  These styles included warmth and hostility and the extent to which a mother allowed her child to guide the conversation – an autonomy-granting parenting style.

Researchers determined the personality characteristics of each child and also assessed the child’s anxiety and depression symptoms.  They also assessed the child’s ability to regulate their own emotions and actions which is a trait associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety.

At the end of the three-year study, the researchers found that:

  • Children with greater effortful control had fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression compared with other kids in the study, and those symptoms usually remained low regardless of parenting style;
  • When children were higher in effortful control but their parents used higher levels of guidance or provided little autonomy, those children showed higher levels of depression and anxiety;
  • Children with low effortful control had less anxiety when mothers provided more structuring and less autonomy;
  • Children low in effortful control doubled their anxiety symptoms if they had mothers who provided little control.

The study shows how parents can use their child’s personality and temperament to decide how much and what type of help to give, Lengua said..

For some children, particularly those who have trouble regulating their emotions, more help is good. But for children who have pretty good self-control, too much parental control can lead to more anxiety and depression.

‘Parents should be there to help – but not take over – in difficult situations and help their children learn to navigate challenges on their own’ Lengua said.

The results were somewhat surprising, Lengua said, because parents of children at this age are typically told to give their kids more autonomy as they learn to navigate social situations and make decisions about schedules and homework. This can butt against parents’ intuition to assist kids through trickier situations. 

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