The way couples deal with male depression
By Liz Lockhart
Three major patterns have been identified among couples dealing with male depression, 
researchers from the University of British Columbia (UBC) have found.
These three patterns are described as ‘trading places’, ‘edgy tensions’ and ‘business as usual’.
The research was led by John Oliffe from the UBC and is published in the journal Social Science & Medicine. Oliffe is an associate professor in the School of Nursing whose work investigates masculinities and men’s health with an emphasis on male depression. This research received support through the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, Institute of Gender and Health.
The paper demonstrates the way in which heterosexual couples’ gender roles undergo considerable change and the strain which is experienced when the male partner is depressed and the female partner tries to help.
Although depression is more commonly reported by women it is a disorder which is underreported in men and, until now, little was known about how heterosexual couples react when the male partner is depressed.
‘Overall, our study underscores how women play a key role in helping their male partner manage their depression,’ says Oliffe. ‘Our findings suggest that gender relations are pivotal in how health decisions are made in families and for that reason, it is important to understand couple dynamics if we want to have effective interventions.’
It was found by Oliffe and his UBC colleagues that ‘trading places’ is the most common pattern. In the relationships where this occurred, the partners reversed roles to cope with the challenges that arose from the men’s depression. As an example men assumed the role of housewife or homemaker while the women became the breadwinner.
‘Here, women partners also broke with feminine ideals in how they provided partner support by employing tough love strategies for self-protection and a means of prompting the men’s self-management of their depression,’ Oliffe says.
‘Business as usual’ was the second most common pattern when couples tried to play down or mask any problems caused by male depression. The women continued to support and nurture their partner whilst holding firm to idealised heterosexual gender roles. Even though the men struggled with the symptoms of their depression, they continued to work hard to keep their careers in typically masculine jobs. In this study such jobs included engineering, law enforcement, science, coaching and forestry.
The third most common pattern was ‘edgy tensions’. This pattern describes the men and women who are caught up in dysfunction relationships. Both partners held differing ideas on gender roles and also grappled with resentment. Whilst these men resisted medical treatment they turned to the use of alcohol and/or illicit drugs in an attempt to self-manage their depression. The women were reluctant to conform to the feminine ideal of being a ‘selfless nurturer’, particularly for men who were unpredictable and volatile. In turn the men adopted a view of themselves as ‘head of the house’.
For the purposes of this study, qualitative analysis was conducted through in-depth interviews with 26 men who had a diagnosis of depression, or had self-identified their depression, and their partners. The participants were aged between 20 and 53 years of age. Seven of the couples had children living at home and the duration of the couples’ relationships was between 2 months and 18 years.
If you think that your partner could be suffering from depression you may like to read the Mental Healthy article called ‘Is your partner depressed?’
