BPD: Self-Esteem and Self-Understanding

by Sarah Myles

My psychologist once correctly highlighted to me that my self-esteem (such as it was) was entirely defined by what I could do for other people, and what their judgement of me was in response. My reply, at the time, was “What else would I base it on?”

That was a genuine question – I really could not see an answer.

In my daily life, I was desperate - desperate to communicate, to please, to win approval, to fit in, to leave. I desperately wanted people to understand, but at the same time, desperately tried to hide everything from everyone.

That was a lifetime ago. Now I am entirely satisfied to just understand myself and, more importantly, have confidence in that understanding.

On my bad days, the paranoia and anxiety still eat me alive from the inside out, but they are thankfully few and far between.

On my best days, I know – to the core of my being – that any label assigned to me by others is a reflection on them, not me. This sounds incredibly obvious now, but was actually a very big step to take. It is really not easy to let that negativity go.

Anybody that thinks I am defined by any one thing, limited by someone else’s terminology, or restricted by any boundary society tries to reinforce, is simply betraying their own ignorance.

Anybody that makes assumptions about me as an individual based on my behaviour, appearance or experiences, is simply betraying their own narrow-mindedness. 

The ignorance and narrow-mindedness of others is neither my problem, nor my responsibility.

Now I understand why I could not answer that question before. My self-esteem was based outside of myself because I had nothing inside to base it on. That’s why it was inadequate. That’s no longer the case.

Self-understanding has provided me with the very best armour for being in the world. Society can throw at me what it will, but these days, my defences are stronger – protecting the fragile peace of mind I am beginning to enjoy.

Comments

Excellent article on self esteem. I would say that all the patients I see suffering with depression have self esteem issues too.

It certainly does seem to be a common aspect to many mental health problems.

Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to get in touch.

Sarah Myles

hi!,I really like your writing so a lot! share we communicate more approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert on this area to solve my problem. May be that's you! Taking a look ahead to look you. Look at my site - gamefly free trial
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don't know who you are but definitely you're going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers! my blog post: minecraft pc download
Its like you read my thoughts! You appear to grasp so much about this, like you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you can do with some percent to force the message house a bit, however other than that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I'll definitely be back. My site ... download minecraft free
hi!,I really like your writing so a lot! share we communicate more approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert on this area to solve my problem. May be that's you! Taking a look ahead to look you. Look into my web-site ... gamefly free trial
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don't know who you are but definitely you're going to a famous blogger if you are not already ;) Cheers! my web-site minecraft pc download
Its like you read my thoughts! You appear to grasp so much about this, like you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you can do with some percent to force the message house a bit, however other than that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I'll definitely be back. Visit my web-site; download minecraft free
we need some smaller and energy efficient microprocessors to support mobile computing“ junk car buyer houston http://ow.ly/Fcj950x1rpx
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian pharmacy uk delivery buy vistagra online safe http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ northwest pharmacies online http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/
http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ canadian pharmacy uk delivery buy vistagra online safe http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/ northwest pharmacies online http://tribtaiti.webcindario.com/

Post new comment